Here, Now

At yoga class yesterday, we were reminded to be in the moment, and do one thing at a time. Which was a timely reminder because working life sometimes entails so much multi-tasking, and we begin to do the same in our own lives as work spills over. And for me, a lot of the past months with Isaac was about juggling entertaining him with the other tasks I had to accomplish. It is not all bad — creating little pockets of “Music with Mummy” time while I get in some piano practice is probably one of the more inspired ways for us to both enjoy the time spent together. But I think there is also something to be said about living a stiller, more focused life. So in these two last precious months of our time together, I resolve to really focus on Isaac when I spend time with him (instead of say, reading behind his back while he plays, like I’ve been doing. Oops!) And for everything else, I was surprised to catch myself instinctively trying to set new goals and tasks and fill up my time now that my first set of goals have been accomplished! So on that note, slow down YX. There is time and world enough for what you want to do — and it is the space you give yourself that lets spontaneity and inspiration set light to life.

(In other news, I love love love this life — this is the most splendid time in my life ever! I can really get used to this pseudo tai-tai hood!)

I have never feared the night

I have never feared the night

Until I had you

Now I fear evil and darkness

And thieves and monsters too

For you are my child, my heart

And now every child is you

Every child hurt and crying

Every child in pain

Every child looking and looking and looking

For his mother and father in vain

Every child orphaned and abandoned

And beggared on dusty streets

Every match girl thirsting and hungering

For love and home and heat

Every bawling baby pierced on a bayonet

And all the children stolen and trafficked and enslaved

Every small skeleton in every mass grave

Was a frightened child a mother could not save

I am afraid

I am afraid

That a mother cannot always

Keep evil and darkness at bay

That a mother cannot always

Drive thieves and monsters away

That love alone is not enough

To keep a beloved child safe

And if it is every mother’s sorrow

To fail her child one day

Then have I loved you well enough

Loved you well enough today?



I never feared the night

I never feared darkness nor monsters nor ghosts

I never feared the evils that never came close

Suffering fallen on someone else was someone else’s pain

Faraway terror was terror faraway

My own life was here, now, today

But then you came into my life and I began to be afraid

Of illnesses and misfortunes and frightening twists of fate

For you were my child and so every child was you

Every child who had fallen, every orphan, every gassed Jew

Every baby on the bayonet, every child left out in the rain

Every child who has ever been hurt, every child who has cried in vain

And every small skeleton in every mass grave

Was another frightened child a mother could not save

How do I protect you? How can I keep you out of harm’s way?

Can I save you always and always and keep evil at bay?

And if it is every mother’s sorrow to fail her child one day

Then have I loved you, loved you well enough today?