Until I became a mother, I didn’t know there was a love like this — how all encompassing the love for a child could be. I think of Isaac all day, smile like a fool at his pictures and gaze at him long after he has slept, even on nights when he had had just woke me up for the fourth time. I didn’t know there were so many little things to love — the fine fair hair on his skin, the scent around his neck, the tumbly syllables, the way he nestles close.
I am so grateful to be able to feel this way, and to be able to see the open love Isaac has for me too. I am grateful for the strength that this love has brought to me — these two years, they must have been difficult. When I think objectively about the lack of sleep, the endless attention needed from us, the hours I spent rocking him in my arms — they must have been tough. But it brought such joy, I was having so much fun, it never once felt too hard to bear.
But more than this, I know now that this too is now I was loved, how I have always been loved by my own mother. She too watched me as I slept, fed me, delighted in my steps and words and taught me patiently all these years. I am grateful to have become a mother and grow to know my own in this way.
Isaac has a double-barrelled surname and I say endlessly — half in jest at times, that’s it’s eminently sensible for a child to take the mother’s name. It’s the mother who always know the child.
But also, mothers are part of that unbroken chain of life, of love. I am lucky to have known the fullness of a mother’s love, in every way 🙂
Happy Mothers’ Day!